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08-26-2010, 04:53 AM | #1 |
Contributing Editor
CW Butt Whisperer Herf God
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Marietta, Georgia
Posts: 50,560
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2010 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
I love watching college football. If it had a playoff, it would be the perfect sport. It has everything you need: asshole coaches, shady boosters, drunken girls with big cans, and HATE. Tons and tons and tons of unbridled hate. Schools hating schools. States hating states. Towns hating towns. They don't even know why they hate each other so much, but they do! And that's what makes it such good hate. If you knew why you hated something, that means you'd have more trouble justifying it to yourself. And I don't like the idea of that at all. I like that hate to go unquestioned, free roam and burn as it pleases.
Best of all, many college football fans are college age men between the ages of 18 and 22. And lemme tell you something, there are no better haters out there than men that age. You talk about a worthless and vile segment of humanity. Guys that age are fucking DICKS. They get drunk. They yell. They start fights. They bite women. They're spectacularly awful human beings. And every Saturday, they huddle up at Delta Fuckface Douchilon at 7AM to drink Popov and paddle each other on the ass, specifically so that they can be as drunk and obnoxious as humanly possible once game time hits. They say some of the meanest, dumbest, most horrible shit you can imagine. And that's what makes college football so pantshittingly kickass. So, with that in mind, let's run down the Top 25 and say hateful, awful things about every team and state involved. Keep in mind, I know next to NOTHING about most of these teams. But that's precisely the point. Ignorance is hate's most precious asset. It's your chance to work up a good hate lather before the season gets into full swing. As always, I use the AP poll, because the coaches poll is retarded. Let's go. TOP 25
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"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats." -- H. L. Mencken "I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you." -- Ghengis Khan |
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