Do you love Connies?

[Ring Leader]

I still need to make space in the cooler so here's a little contest.

Profess your love for Connies in any format you choose. My favorite gets a fist full of assorted aged Connies shipped to their door. Open to all CW members.

[Briandg]

I went to elementary school with the loveliest black haired beauty, whose name just happene to be Connie Wolff. She was truly a thing to behold; raven hair, flashing dark eyes, pale skin, perfect teeth. She always smelled of lilac or patchouli, and she never failed to shave her legs and underarms. All through the winter, I would help her out of her coat, and she would hit me with her snow soaked mittens, so when spring finally came to the ozarks, I was doubly glad to see her coming through the fields of narcissus and hyacinth wearing only a light sweater and camisole.

Connie, Oh Connie, you haunted my restless nights all summer after our sixth grade year was over. I tossed on my sweat soaked sheets, anticipating the first day of school and wondering if you would have chosen a new pet name for me or if you would still call me "birdbrain." all the years we had grown older and closer, would soon reach a sort of destiny, as we spent seventh grade eating our lunches together under the hoary old red oaks outside of our new school.

When the day finally came for us to meet again in the halls of junior high, myself a grown man and you, a mature woman, I breathlessly waited for the bus from your neighborhood to regurgitate the debris and clear the way for yourself, stepping to the curb in your black mary janes and white cotton skirt, but you weren't there. Day after day, I waited patiently in the heat, snow, rain, or wind, and never once did you step off of that bus. call it fate, call it karma, call it a huge damned disappointment, whatever you call it, finding out that your father was a captain in the USAF and had been relocated to the Isle of Mann was a blow that I never truly got over.

many years later, I finally became fully a man, but not in the honeymoon bed with my dear connie after champagne and chocolates. I left my childhood and innocence behind in the bathroom of a greyhound bus, somewhere between Big Cabin, Oklahoma, and the texas border. She was exotic looking, wordly and alluring, and far more experienced than I. as naive and lost as I was at the time, she was magnificent and filled with life. We made love that night, riding the waves of ecstacy like the tires rode potholes of that long, dark pokelahoma highway.

Many months later, my one night stand was recalled clearly to my mind by a summons. My lady, she who was so full of life, was far more full of life than I thought. she had filed for citizenship for her two twins, listing myself as the father, and filed for child support.

The matron at the county jail beat a sample out of me that freed me of the child support, and I went back to my ho hum and humdrum, drab little life, wondering to myself almost daily; should I have rescued her from a migrant life of picking melons, living always a step ahead of immigration, and never sure where she would be sleeping when the sun went down? I'll never know. I spent thousands of dollars on private detectives, and drove from joplin to amarillo dozens of times, interviewing hitchhikers and migrant fruit pickers with no success. I surrendered to the inevitable after 3 long years of searching.

yes, I miss my dear consuela, who smelled like cigars and orange tree sap. Every time I see the lovely brown band of a Connie, the same color as her sun kissed backside, I dream of things that might have been, and wonder what would have happened if I had gotten off of the bus with her at the tiny village of Cherokee Moved Away, okla, just north of Feces creek, and west of Little Stinky Lake. It was field bean harvest season, and the crowder peas were ripe and ready for picking.

[Ring Leader]

Brian, remind me again why you don't write books, or movie scripts, or for a comedy show?

[Briandg]

I blame it on my parents. They always told me that I was stupid and useless. The only time they would ever offer any sort of encouragement was when I'd say I was going to run away. Every year, I got luggage for christmas, pre-stocked with maps of far away places and discount coupons for bus fare. I'm sure they would have given me a tom-tom, but only if they could delete the location of their home first.

I'd probably have been a failure in hollywood, anyway. I could have written a show called "**** my dad says" but it would have mostly been "get a haircut" and "YOU CALL THESE GRADES!?"

Probably would have failed first season, and I'd have been responsible for putting a whole bunch of people out of work.

[DSturg369]

I've bought several bundles of various Connie's over the years. Fav is without a doubt the #9 Maddy. I still have about 10 or so from the last Bundle I bought wayyyyyy back around 1999 or 2000... Not exactly sure. I pull one out every couple of years and as I smoke it, I fondly remember the days of the JR.Cigars chat room and forums, before it got killed by the Mods. Made some great friends during those days, with many on here today. Every time I'm browsing through the cooler and come across the remaining Connie's... Whether or not I smoke one or just look at them for a few seconds... A smile breaks and a memory of days gone by, of friends that have left us and also those still here, of friends - Old & New, of a time that bonds were formed, friendships forged, and brotherhoods began. Connie's are good smokes, but what they represent to me is a lot more than just tobacco.

[Briandg]

[gui_tarzan]

I've always heard that connies were so good because they were like finely-aged Cubans, rolled between the supple thighs of virgins. I don't know about that, but the ones Smurfy sent me were damned good!

(there is NO competing with Brian )

[KatDad]

As a value oriented, some might say cheap, smoker as well as a bonafide Villazon junky, I've smoked my share of Connies over the years. So many good smokes enjoyed. It still saddens me that the Cofradia factory has been shuttered as I think of all the fine cigars I've enjoyed that were produced in that facility.

[hockeymaniac]

Because they taste great.

[xavier]

Am I the only one who has never had a Connie before?