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Old 07-09-2014, 12:31 PM   #1
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Talking If Ghurka was a car...

So I got this e-mail from Ghurka today, stating “Gurkha Cigar Group, maker of the world’s finest cigars announces several new releases for this month’s IPCPR show in Las Vegas, NV. Among the releases, are rare tobaccos, unusual pairings, and the company’s most beautiful packaging to date. Gurkha Cigar Group is known as the industry’s Rolls Royce of Cigars and releases nothing shy in exceeding the preceding expectations. “

Well after I fought back the urge to stand on my desk and scream “BULLH*T!!” at my screen, scare my co-workers, I got to thinking about how many levels of bovine feces (and poor grammar) that Ghurka has layered into that one paragraph..

My theory is, you can take a log of dog sh*t, wrap it in a fancy gold band, pad that with crushed velvet, present it in a box made from the wood of a 300-year-old piano, and charge $500/stick for it, it’s still going to be a log of dogsh*t.

Just the fact that you can buy a Ghurka cigar at my local B&M for $30, and find the same thing on Cbid for $4, and then when you smoke it, it’s plugged, leads me to believe that Ghurka is nowhere NEAR the “world’s finest cigars..” I have smoked, probably in the hundreds of Ghurka cigars (yeah, I’m a sucker) and while some are enjoyable, more than half (especially those GD double perfectos, oh those double perfectos) canoe on me, chisel, plug or unravel.

I don’t think I would put Ghurka even in the top ten “domestically” then when you compare them to the top ten habanos, well they don’t compare there either. I’m guessing Ghurka is going with the California Political Ad model of, if you tell a lie long enough and loud enough folks will eventually believe it?

So, if Ghurka was a car, (it sure as f*ck wouldn’t be a Rolls Royce) which car would you think it would be??

My opinion FWIW, I think Ghurka would be a Mercury, you know, built on the same frame as a Pinto, just a little nicer.. Am I on an island here? Maybe I’m just cranky cause it’s hump day? Please to chime in…
"Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed."
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Old 07-09-2014, 12:39 PM   #2
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I'm reminded of the time, back in the early 80s I think, when GM assembly lines screwed up and produced Oldsmobiles and Buicks with Chevrolet engines. Badge engineering at it's finest.
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it
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The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants
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Old 07-09-2014, 12:46 PM   #3
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Yugo no more and probably a lot less
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Old 07-09-2014, 01:14 PM   #4
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AMC Pacer or Gremlin......or how about the Ford Inferno...I mean Pinto......
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Old 07-09-2014, 01:17 PM   #5
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I've had a few that were good but very few so I don't bother with them anymore. Some fools will pay for the packaging but I'd rather buy good sticks in bundles than crap sticks packaged well.

The four most dangerous words in the US government: "and for other purposes"

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Old 07-09-2014, 06:02 PM   #6
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Jaguar from about 20 years ago before they became well built cars. You know, they had great skins but were dog turds in quality.
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Old 07-09-2014, 07:28 PM   #7
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Candy apple red chevette. Lots of chrome. $5,000 sound system and recaro seats.

Tinted windows and a broken interior light so you can't see the torn mats, febreeze so you can't smell the dead squirrels in the trunk, and 100,000 miles on the burned out engine.

Ooh, shiny box, shiny bands, and the best cellophane that money can buy, but it still smells like the pit did in my uncle phil's gas station. I don't even want to think about how many pintos, chevettes, vegas, and god forbid, even gremlins spilled their rotten internal leakages into that bay.

I once remarked to my wife that I felt like the first three parking spaces at a walmart. she didn't get it. Later that week I pointed the first three parking spaces at a walmart out to her. Now she gets it.
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