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Old 04-03-2015, 08:21 PM   #1
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Bass players get no respect.

Ok, this is a joke. I actually admire bass players, and they are often immensely talented. (Paul McCartney anyone?) But I did think this was funny.

"LOUISVILLE, KY – The day after The Academy Is concert, Victoria Jorgensen, 22, was terrified to realize that she had accidentally slept with the band’s bass player – mistaking him for someone important in the band.
“I can’t believe how stupid I was,” said Jorgensen. “I mean, I went up to the guy and was like ‘are you in the band’ and he was all like, ‘yeah, I’m in the band’ so I did him. Then this morning I was telling my friends and I realized he was just the bass player. This happens to me all the time.”
Jorgensen plans to do more research before sleeping with another band member.
“This won’t happen again,” said Jorgensen. “If I’m going to sleep with someone, they’d better be important. I mean, I could find someone here in town as important as a bass player.”
Adam Siska, The Academy Is bass player, was unavailable for comment."

It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
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Old 04-06-2015, 06:56 AM   #2
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She should go into politics.
"Moderation in all things. Excess in everything else."
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Old 04-25-2015, 04:25 PM   #3
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Does that make her Bass Masterbator?
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."
-- H. L. Mencken
"I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you."
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Old 05-07-2015, 04:06 AM   #4
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She gave in to her basser instincts.
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it
George Bernard Shaw

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule it
H. L. Mencken

The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants
Albert Camus

The Land of the Free Because of the Brave
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Old 05-08-2015, 07:21 PM   #5
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As a bass player for some 38 years now, and without trying to sound arrogant, being one of the better bassists on the local circuit, there are as many bass player jokes as there are drummer jokes and they don't bother me one bit. Most of them are quite funny.

I like this one: What do they call the band member that helps the drummer keep the beat steady? The bass player.

I've always said, and it usually holds true, the drummer sets the beat but the bass player's groove makes the womens' hips sway.

I was playing at a benefit a few weeks ago and one gal was talking to another at the table I was sitting at, and she pointed at me and said "He's the guy that gets the ladies out on the dance floor." I was floored. One very pretty gal kept moving toward the front of the stage as she danced by and looked at me with very sexy eyes all night. Not the other guys, just me. When you're not used to that it can be a little unsettling and at the same time very hot.

The four most dangerous words in the US government: "and for other purposes"

I am an AJ Fernandez ho...
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Old 05-12-2015, 06:42 AM   #6
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Oh, hey, look a musician...panties drop. I don't understand the female logic.

I'm convinced this is the true reason Spock died, he tried to figure out the girl brain....BAM!...anal seepage, heart attack, aneurism, bone marrow hardening, epileptic seizure, rigor mortis...
Everyone needs something to believe in, I believe I'll have another cigar. Further, I believe you're not to work during drinking hours.
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