Jin's DOg Rocket Reviews: Don Rafael

[Max Huff]

Last night I smoked one of these "Don Rafeal by Victor Sinclair" 'gars. I couldn't wait to post a review. This would have been my first "solo" review and I came here to my brothers at CW to hopefully fan this flame and lo-n-behold but what do I find: a review of cunning and depth I could only hope to someday mimic with such flair. But not to be one to hold my tounge when faced with such an extrordnarily doggy stick of merde, I wish to add my commentary thusly.

Don Rafeal by Victor Sinclair:
L-6.22" R-44 (appx) "Lonsdale" Mfr Claim: "Beautifully constructed for a perfect draw, with the wonderful flavor of cocoa."
Also tried: Toro - 6 x 54. A medium to full bodied smoke, with spicy flavor, and a hint of roasted nuts.
Both were included in my sampler which had sever other cigars by Mr Sinclair.
Country of origin: DOM
Price paid: about US $2.25 per stick
Wrapper: Claimed to be CONNECTICUT SHADE (I doubt this unless it's the lowest quality of shade ever) but also available in Indonesian Sumatra Maduro.

My entry was also covered in very yellow cello, and smelled a bit like fresh cut cigarette tobacco, the wrapper very dry and mucho veiny. From the cut I knew this stick was trouble. -Veins sprouted and persisted to accost my lips throughout this torrid affair, I had to at times pull them out risking tearing the wrapper but I simply cannot tolerate the feel and bitter taste of them. The wrapper was bi-colored medium leather tan and flouresent green, with edging not properly laid in and starting to lift in two places. From the end it appeared the filler and binder (also DOM) were laid in a "double S" as if the roller used a back and forth motion, I found the stick had no noticable soft or hard spots and the end cap was flattened.

First Fire: Smell of old leaves and taste of dandelion and old musty basement.
It took a full 30 seconds of high flame from my butane torch to get this puppy to start, and when it did the burn was course and spotty. Uneven would be generous to describe it with the veins pulling the heat around one side of the wrapper. I was trying to get it going by alternating up-sides while huffing away but decided the taste was too nasty and put it down hoping the rest would give it time to develop some character. After about 10 minutes I picked it back up and proceded to give it another go, to my amazement it had gone out! (After all my hard work to get it started )

2nd Fire: I fired it once again and this time it lit with a flourish, at least on the side with the bad burn. I decided it would be best to cut the lit end and try again which I did, noting even more veins in the 2nd layer of the wrapper and what seemed like seeds imbedded in the filler. This time my trusty Kwicky-Mart lighter made short work of at least getting a mouthful of hot smoky bits of dry tobacco into my mouth, the end which was now well soaked with my spit seemed too bitter to be made of anything less than dish soap and pine needles. After two minutes of working the draw I had to abandon all hope of this stick producing much more taste than one expects of a 'gar wrapped in "It's a Boy" cello. And to add on final indignity it again went out! With my lips still pressed to it's bitter end, my cheeks concave in full draw it went out!!! Now any normal human would have by this time risked both tendonitis and a forest fire by flinging the offensive turd as far away as possible but I being a glutton for punishment took it upon myself to give it one final go just to be fair and certain of my findings.

3rd and Final Fire: I pressed the soggy, bitter butt to my lips, fired the now-crackly end and with eyes shut in 'bitter lemon' squint took my final draws. No smell, no smellier smell, no smellier smell which smells could have erupted from the lit end and totally washed out what might have been some actual flavor, perhaps even a bit of the claimed cocoa causing me to hold this dog at arms length whilst I licked my over heated lips. Yes kiddies as a final injury upon insult this tube of noxiousness actually had the gall to "tunnel" the center of the filler burning so quickly it sent the raw flame back to my mouth. All this and less than 2.5" burned.

Enough was enough. This stick was toast and found it's way to the nearest trash can as I did not want it's memory to grace my fine crystal ashtray.

Now you understand my haste in logging into CW to post this review and spare my friends lungs and bankrolls this indignity.

To Victor Sinclair I say "NO MAS, AMIGO" You have truly outdone Mr White Owl today.

My Grade D-

"Hey, I resemble that remark"- Shemp Howard™