Guadalupe River Trip HERF! UPDATED - Finished.....

[SoccerMasta]

Notice - Very long, no point, and probably very bad grammar and spelling. Enjoy!

I am trying to get my mind back after this trip. Actually just trying to recover from the horrible sunburn I received after rafting the river this past Saturday. I had a mini HERF by myself if thats possible on the river and will be writting up my reviews here. I just need to find a good full 45 minutes to write it all out. But heres what I smoked and will fill in the blanks in a few days.

Note - Partial reviews and recaps of my entire river smoking experiance. So do not expect much of a breakdown of each cigar. Sorry I was in bliss on this day and it was just a totally excellent smoking experiance.

Jose L Piedra (MM) Conserva - I was not sure if I was going to be able to enjoy a cigar on the river, what with all the rapids trying to put out my precious smokes. Not to mention all the extracurricular activities going on around me ( see Bitingsam, jmurman, IronBar's Avatars, the list goes on for a hint). Our day started out with the normal wake up to someones thumping stereo at 9 am in the campground, then the arduous task of getting everyone in the truck to head to the tube and raft rental store. >>>>Fast Forward>>>> Im getting settled in the raft after the first 2 major rapids on the river, a total of 20 minutes so far. I decide this is the best time to light up, at least 45 minutes to the next white water. I had taken the time to pre-clip all of the cigars so I would not have to waste time in the raft doing this so, I removed the first cigar I grabbed in my water-proof tupperware box, a must for river trips... It was the JLP. Very good selection I thought for the first of the day. I lit the 5 1/2 by 44 cigar and was greeted with a very smooth taste. A great breakfast I thought! It was already around 10:30 in the morning and I was hesitant to open up my first beer, but I just had to have a beer with breakfast. The cigar was like I said very smooth at first then changed gears on me and became more harsh tasting. I blame the taste on a combination of things. I had brushed my teeth before we left for the river trip that day, so toothpaste and beer and a cigar do not mix well! At the half way mark on this cigar I had burned out the harshness taste and it once again became very enjoyable, even with a budweiser. I probably should have waited a little longer to light up or had a coke instead of the beer, but this cigar was not a total enjoyable experiance. I will give it this though, the ash held on up to the halfway mark and even survived a small rapid. It took me about an hour to finish this cigar, even with the harshness, I could not bring myself to throw a cuban to its watery grave. Waste not want not Right???

Monte Petit Tubo (had this wrong on first post) - About 20 minutes later, my tastebuds have revived and I now have saliva, or at least a normal taste in my mouth (explanation - Friday night beer drinking catch up to all the others who had been there all day and were already drunk off their collective arses. Not recomended. Half a case of bud in 3 hours, at least I think... ) I lit up the Monte #2 and believe this was my first. It was very very robust in flavor. From the light up to the watery death I had at least 3 or 4 changes in flavor or fullness if you will. The 5 by 42 little bundle of joy. The ash was not hanging on, on this one. I nearly had dropped it twice helping those poor soles who get flipped in a rapid and get all their paraphanalia wet. I honestly do not know how I got to enjoy this cigar with all the issues I ran into. I do wish I had a picture of first kicking back and enjoying this cigar. I was drifting along and an older lady made the comment of somehting like this " Is your name Joe? me - No why? Lady - Because you sure like you know how to live..) I was completely laid back in the raft with my feet up resting on my cooler and arms clasped behind my head. I did not really understand the Joe question but did have a few laughs with the lady and her raft crew for at least a half hour. I was into this cigar completly. I have not had the changing of flavor like this before and it was excruciatingly painfull to eventually put it out. By the way just about all of these river cigars added to my allready unnoticed sunburn on my chest, but adding the burn to my fingertips. I could not nub to extremly like at home due to worrying about the local law enforcement thinking it was something else. For some reason I must have rushed this cigar, it only lasted me about 45 minutes. Odd for me at least here lately.

Ramon Allones - Small Club Corona (2) I took maybe an hour break after the monte. Had a few Guad Dogs and a coke for lunch. The locals sell Bar-BQ and dogs(hot dogs) out of their backyards to, Im sure us annoying river rats. I was about to hit a busy part of the river and did not want to take a chance getting one of my larger cigars wet and loosing it, so I lit up one of the cigars that has to be my favorite goto in a pinch situation right now, the RASCC. How can I describe these wonderfull little bundles of joy? As Willy Wonka would say scrumdidlyumptious! From first light to burning flesh this cigar is a wonderfully flavorfull smoke. As usual I am not going to describe the taste, each person differs on this subject. I do not get chocolate or leather from a cigar. Its just a very delicious experiance. These cigars are smaller than my usual liking but are excellent no less. 4-3/8 by 48 and like I said flavor rich to the end. This cigar was so good I lit up another almost right after I let my fingertips cool down, which isnt to long considering the river is very cold (roughly 60 degrees) Now before you say anyhting about that not being cold. The outside temp is 90+ and you go jump into a river that is 60, well its a bit of a shock to your system. All I know is that your arse can get very numb from sitting in it all day. I lit the second RASCC and almost lost it during one of the milder rapids. I wasnt paying attention and went down the rapid backwards. Needless to say I almost got dumped out, but was ready with cat like reflexes to keep that cigar high and out of harms way. (Tangent - After at least 12 years of rafting this river you develop certain skills. The most importnat skill is how not to spill your beer while hitting the wite water areas. I call it the Beer can dance. The best way I can describe this is try falling into your pool or any water and whichever hand the beer is in goes straight up and twists around any which way while you get pumbled by rocks and raging water. Once the situation has calmed you arise with beer still in hand without a drop spilt. You may look like hell, but the beer or cigar in this case is intact.) Sorry about that, a little background always should be shared IMHO. Needless to say neither of these two smokes ashes held on for very long. Like I said it was a busier part of the river. Again on this second one in a row, my fingertips were feeling the burn. The good news, I had had at least 5 beers by now and was feeling no pain from the burn on my front side. You say only 5 cans? I did not want to get to the point where I could not enjoy my cigars.

Finished the trip off at Gruene Bridge waiting on the rest of my tubing friends with a HDM Epi #2. I had my timeframe out of whack there. I had the Cohiba back at camp for after dinner. Anyway I took the rest of the river off from cigars. I knew I was only about an hour away from our take out spot, 20 minutes if I paddled the whole way. So 20 minutes later I have turned in my raft and am sitting in the river on a nice flat rock now enjoying yet another beer and my Epi#2. I was getting some envious looks from passerbys on the bridge. I even had a few ask me if I had any more cigars. Sorry Im not handing out to some stumbling drunk just getting out after their 5 hour beerfest. If I would have had one of Rivalls bad frogs, then maybe. The Epi#2 has got to be my mostest favoritest cigar. And smoking this cigar in my favorite river in my favorite town was probably the best time I have had to completely relax and just loose myself in the cigar itself. The cigar changes from medium to full for me. It starts off with a great flavor and just increases in fullness and flavor as I smoke it. I was almost to the point of eating the damn thing it was so good. I lit this cigar up and had an ash a little past the halfway mark before it fell into the passing water. (Another Tangent - While rafting or tubing the river and drinking any liquid you run into the question or delima of what to do when you have to releive your bladder.
PG warning.... To some this may seem a bit crude or unrefined, well deal with it. your in a river and there are no restrooms. There is nothing like taking a leak on yourself while rafting or tubing. Now granted if Im in a raft I flop out into the river, Im not totally disgusting. In a tube its a bit more easy your mid-section is underwater the whole trip, so let er rip taterchip! ) I digress, So Im sitting there in the river up to my nip...err. chest enjoying my Epi#2 and my 7the beer whiel taking a leak on myself watching all the pretty colored bikini's walk by . Also watching all the Harleys drive by getting the I wish I were doing the same thing as you wave or nod from the riders. There was some Harley rally going on in Austin this past weekend and I have never seen so many bikes. I must have been the spectal to watch for a while, because so many people were pointing my way. Maybe because they knew I was pissing on myself???? Naw it had to be the fact that I was probably enjoying myself way to much with that cigar. By the time the rest of my camping buddies arrive I was just putting the cigar to its watery death. I was almost in tears watching it float away know ing it was getting to see the rest of the river and that my River Day of Cigars was coming to a close. Burnt fingers and all.

I am trying to read back into what I have typed here and have not really done any of these cigars their justice of a complete review. I mainly wanted to share a few facts about the cigar and the complete enjoyment I had from each one during my trials and tribulations during this river excursion. I should know better, but cannot help myself and just had to get it out.

I just did the river smokes for this long winded tale. I had another 2 cigars back at the campsite. A full day of Bliss! I seriously have to replenish my stock. I was not planning on smoking so many, but my greed? Tastebuds? Something got the better of me. The only thing that was missing was my Shiner (no glass on the river) so I had to go with the old faithfull Bud.

Thank you for reading if you took the time. I hope my rambling on gave at least some insight on how good I think these cigars are/were and give them a try yourself.

PS A day of nothing to eat except hot dogs for lunch and dinner do not do a person with heartburn any good! I may not get back to normal for sometime to come. Sorry for the TMI there. Just a footnote of what not to eat for every meal in one day. Even if your camping.