Gold?

[laststandchili]

I picked up a 5er of these a couple years ago when I was brand new to cigars. I tried a lot of the low priced value smokes hoping to find a few that were good knockaround cigars. A couple were, but PGs were not.

I smoked half of one from my original 5er, and gave the rest away to a friend that smokes drug store stogies, and then I found another recently among a big mixed bag sampler. I stuck it in my desk humidor at work and then, last night, I stuck it in my pocket for the ride home.

This short torpedo looked to be at least a couple years old and I reasoned that "hey, it's gotta be better than the shit sticks last time around. It's aged. Probably even a good smoke. Yeah, that's the ticket."

It wasn't. It was bad. I have found a couple budget smokes that I do like. Flor de Olivas, El Mejor Espresso's a good one. Stick'em away for a year, and they're not bad to burn on the road, or bumming around the yard. I wouldn't pull one for a night by the fire with the smoking jacket and a fine cognac, but they serve a purpose and with some age you don't really get that many wet dog hits. They're there, but you don't get that many. Anyway, the PG had about one inch of glory, but for the most part just flat sucked balls.

Early on there was a really surprising sulfur flavor. No matches involved, it was all the smoke, and there was no doubt about it. It wasn't reminiscent of sulfur, or redolent or sulfur, my truck smelled like sulfur after firing up this cigar. It didn't last too long for the sulfur smell to die down and this fetid turd of a smoke started to taste like rancid ass sweat. Seriously foul.

I'm really not sure why I kept smoking the damned thing, other than the fact that traffic was heavier than usual, and I was bored and I suppose in a perversely masochistic mood. So on it went. Midway through the nastiness slowed, then stopped. There was a good solid inch of rolled tobacco that didn't taste and smell like an armpit. It wasn't great, a little hard edged, but it was ok. If the whole cigar had smoked like this one inch, PG would in fact, be a good deal for price tag.

It didn't last.

The final third, the sweet spot of most ordinary cigars returned to the rankness and funk. I let it go just above the band. I was almost home and starting to panic thinking about how I was going to get the taste out of my mouth in order to smoke a decent cigar after dinner.

So now I've tried them, gave it some time, and another honest try. I'll never again need to smoke a Pirates Gold.