A Cigar With My Father

[bsslack]

Father's Day was yesterday.

Whether you are a Father or not, you technically had one. It's always a good day to reflect on Family and the path we as individuals and our Families have traveled. I'm 55 years old, My Father died in The Service of His Country in November of 1963. Leaving a Family of 6, the youngest were twin boys aged 18 months. I had no living memory of him except pictures on the wall. Late last year I moved back home to be there for my Mother who's 82 now. I graduated HS and left to see the world in May of 1980. I had visited home over the years, but had spent no real time there. So, the point being that I had not been home on Father's day in 38 years. Since returning home my mother gave me access to a treasure trove of photographs. Many of them, I and most of my siblings, had never seen before. I was also in for a bit of a surprise. My Father Loved to Smoke Cigars! I have dozens of pictures of him with a cigar in his hand. Several of them taken during his deployment to Korea. Some are at Heartbreak Ridge, after the intense battle there. I was stunned and pleased, both. So, I decided to spend part of my Fathers day having my very first cigar with my Father. I took a recently gifted Bolivar PC that had a decent bit of age on it, if the green band was any indication. I took a bottle of water and went out to the old cemetery. I trimmed off the errant grass, small bits of debris and such, stood the flowers up straight on his and his Mother and Father's markers. I guess I spent an hour there. In that time 3 people (complete strangers) stopped and greeted me, they spoke for a moment and went on their way. None mentioned the cigar or seemed anything but thoughtful and friendly. We were all there, after all, for the exact same reason, to offer our respects and sentiments to a passed loved one.

As I puffed away and thought about his life that ended at 33 years old, 53 years ago. Then to me, the irony rich fact that I "randomly" started smoking cigars and that it was not an off and on thing. That I developed an sincere and genuine continuing appreciation of them, just like he did. I found surprising common ground with my long passed Father and I felt comforted by that previously unknown bond. It had always been there waiting to be discovered. Yet again, the cigar arts see fit to present me with confirmation that it is right and meant to be. It had freely given me another way to know and feel closer to him. So, I paid my respects to Him, His Life and His Sacrifice.

I did so, by having My First Cigar with My Father.


-slack

[Smokestack Jack]

As I read your post, I became overwhelmed with emotion. I too, lost my Father when I was young. I was only 22. I think about him every day, and have a memorial to him in my man cave. Yesterday I also sat and reflected, not only about my Father but his brother also. Uncle John was a pipe and cigar smoker and I thought about how great it would have been if he could have joined me in a smoke. I then called my son, wished him a happy father's day and told him I was proud of him and loved him. They say that time heals, but does it really?

[CSMAnderson]

Very emotional thread. I lost my father at age 12, he died of a stroke. Life was never easy after that. My mom was a waitress and did the best she could to provide, but it was tough without my dad. My dad was the wrestling champ of the South Pacific during WW ll. I can remember him letting me swing on his arm as he made muscle curl. I think of him often, wishing he had not died so early in my life. I miss him daily.

[xrundog]

Nice posts guys. Really nice.

[beevod]

THIS is why this is such a great site. Thanks, BigO.

[BigO]

I had nothing to do with it. I got emotional reading it myself. My father is still with us, and our relationship is better than it's ever been. Last year for Father's Day, I wrote to him what I would have said about him at the inevitable eulogy as the first born I will be called on to deliver.

This was not a morbid task. I wanted to tell him what he meant to me and the values that I hold dear and that he was instrumental in shaping from example as well as teaching. I'll post a link soon.

My father's early years were in the family business of selling sundries. Cigars, candy bars cigarettes and the like. He smoked cigars and pipes until I was about 15.

I got married in 2000. My dad hadn't smoked since about 1982 I have a picture of him, my younger brother and I smoking Cuban cigars at the reception dinner. I really treasure that picture, even though they didn't enjoy the cigars (told me years later). 18 years ago. It's the only time I ever smoked a cigar with my dad.

[Rob G]

Originally Posted by bsslack

Father's Day was yesterday.

Whether you are a Father or not, you technically had one. It's always a good day to reflect on Family and the path we as individuals and our Families have traveled. I'm 55 years old, My Father died in The Service of His Country in November of 1963. Leaving a Family of 6, the youngest were twin boys aged 18 months. I had no living memory of him except pictures on the wall. Late last year I moved back home to be there for my Mother who's 82 now. I graduated HS and left to see the world in May of 1980. I had visited home over the years, but had spent no real time there. So, the point being that I had not been home on Father's day in 38 years. Since returning home my mother gave me access to a treasure trove of photographs. Many of them, I and most of my siblings, had never seen before. I was also in for a bit of a surprise. My Father Loved to Smoke Cigars! I have dozens of pictures of him with a cigar in his hand. Several of them taken during his deployment to Korea. Some are at Heartbreak Ridge, after the intense battle there. I was stunned and pleased, both. So, I decided to spend part of my Fathers day having my very first cigar with my Father. I took a recently gifted Bolivar PC that had a decent bit of age on it, if the green band was any indication. I took a bottle of water and went out to the old cemetery. I trimmed off the errant grass, small bits of debris and such, stood the flowers up straight on his and his Mother and Father's markers. I guess I spent an hour there. In that time 3 people (complete strangers) stopped and greeted me, they spoke for a moment and went on their way. None mentioned the cigar or seemed anything but thoughtful and friendly. We were all there, after all, for the exact same reason, to offer our respects and sentiments to a passed loved one.

As I puffed away and thought about his life that ended at 33 years old, 53 years ago. Then to me, the irony rich fact that I "randomly" started smoking cigars and that it was not an off and on thing. That I developed an sincere and genuine continuing appreciation of them, just like he did. I found surprising common ground with my long passed Father and I felt comforted by that previously unknown bond. It had always been there waiting to be discovered. Yet again, the cigar arts see fit to present me with confirmation that it is right and meant to be. It had freely given me another way to know and feel closer to him. So, I paid my respects to Him, His Life and His Sacrifice.

I did so, by having My First Cigar with My Father.


-slack

Just beautiful.

[TommyBB]

All of this is so wonderful.

[bsslack]

Thanks Everyone for Your stories and your Feelings.

Jason that missive was candid, thoughtful and earnest. Those are the three very best adjectives to have in any prose and that's what it is. Human Prose, the likes of which we rarely see or hear in our modern world. A world that sadly rewards pretension over honest words, such as yours. Plus, my Admiration in saying it to Your Father, when it Truly counts, while he is still here to hear. All should do this.

Leave not your Hearts True Words until they can only fall upon the saddened ears and broken hearts, already filled with the loudness of grief.


Thank You for sharing My Friend.


-slack

[BigJohn]

Very moving.
I was fortunate, to have had cigars WITH my dad - even though he did not partake (cigarette guy, and then, the last couple years, cancer...) - but we sat, and talked, and bathed in nostalgic conversation more than once.

This year, my first fathers day without him (sad!), my youngest son came home from Athens, took me to see a movie and paid for it with his own money (and the beer too!) and then my older son and daughter in law came over for dinner... Amazing, and I shared a tasty cigar with both of them. I hope that their memories of me are as deep and heartfelt as yours are Senor Slack... and yours, J.

If my kids think as fondly of me later in their lives as you guys do of yours (and I of mine) then I've done it right and deserved the Fathers Days I celebrated.